when gods sleep
by karrma-queen
Summary: Axis Argent was the demon that haunted you in your sleep. Raised in a life full of death, she fought against the light at the end of the tunnel. Kylo Ren found the chaos in her eyes and was envious of the destruction he saw. Two people fighting against the light.
1. knights

**| CHAPTER ONE**

** KNIGHTS |**

* * *

THE PRICE OF ADMISSION was steep, precipitous enough that succeeding only tugged at Rasseth Argent, remorse blooming in his stomach like a resentful flower. It kept him underwater, unable to break surface, his lungs constricting and begging to help. He couldn't breathe, not until he saw those eyes again.

At the beginning of Rasseth's story, he was just a young man searching for darkness as the light called for him. Growing up in a family whom stole, killed and did what they had to survive, it was no surprise that when he was no longer a boy, he took it upon himself to seek out the Knights of Ren, looking for a home in this murky time. They were an enclave of masked Force-sensitive warriors that followed a meek code; taking what the galaxy gave them, consuming what the dark side sent them and living life the way he wanted.

Discovering them was almost as hard as the trials they had put him through. He had combed through the galaxy for them, craving to find a purpose in his life until finally, he met Ren, the leader of the Knights who brought him in, with a warning: the time will come where you will pay to join and the price is steep.

Despite knowing this, he blindly shadowed them, struggling to impress them with his callous tactics, not hesitating when the time came to massacre another. What Rasseth didn't tell them, however, was that each night, when he laid down for the night, the light side would call for him.

Through his first few months with the Knights, he scrutinized the other lost souls that were training with him perish, either from the Knight's hands for being too weak, or losing themselves through their exploits on destroying anything that defied their order, especially the Jedi.

Rasseth was beginning to contemplate when he would fully be accepted into the ranks by the other Knights, but he knew the time would come and he wasn't sure he was going to be ready.

The ship Rasseth was on began to descend on a new planet and the man flew to the window, gawking at his new surroundings. All he could see was the tops of such jade trees and he was in awe. He swallowed the jumpiness that was bubbling within his throat and turned his attention from the sight to the other Knights who were slinging their weapons along their back. He had only seen them without their helmets a few times, given he was still only training, but even without seeing their expression, he could feel the exhilaration radiating off them like a beacon.

The hatch clicked open and with a low hiss, the entrance slid open and Rasseth had to hold back the yearning to run out. He waited patiently for the others to lead the way whereas the fresh air outside swept into the ship. Rasseth could smell the rain that had earlier washed the planet, the moss that covered those remarkable trunks. Everything he saw was so optimistic and green and he couldn't believe the sight he was seeing. He took a step onward, his eyes broadening.

He continued down the ramp, the eagerness that wavered off his fellow Knights immersed him, causing his own adrenaline to pick up, his body vibrating with anticipation. Now, he was no longer savoring in the spectacular marvels. His dark eyes slid back and forth like a predator, hidden by the wide chrome helmet he wore, searching for any likely danger.

The planet was absolutely soundless as if it's inhabitants had run off at the sight of the unnerving ship landing. Though, appearances aside, the Knight's latest report was that there were Resistance sympathizers camping here with a Jedi in their ranks. The Knights and their followers had been dispatched to ensure that no one left the planet alive and Rasseth knew that it would be accomplished.

The man waited at the bottom of the ramp, feeling a minor jerk in his abdomen. He was tentative to admit, but he was usually a bit apprehensive at the beginning of each expedition, though this felt a bit different. It was like a hand reaching in, trying to pull him back to the ship, away from the planet.

Before he could dwell on it any longer, Brindel, his mentor, a veteran Knight had turned to him and rustled lowly, "We will take the west quarter down. You check the outer ring and see if you can't find any stragglers. I don't need to remind you that no one is to be left alive." He didn't wait for Rasseth to retort, turning to another and barking orders.

Rasseth chewed at the top of his lip. He wondered if the other Knights could feel his unease, just like he could practically taste how thrilled they were, for another kill. He surely hoped not.

When they slinked off, leaving the man standing by himself, their steps were silent, moving in unison, multiple pieces of a whole entity.

Rasseth pushed back his own fear of today, reminding himself that it was whom who sought out the Knights and how much he wanted to a part of that entity. He had to stop letting his own thoughts devour him and try to turn himself into something he wasn't.

Rasseth moved his body away, taking a step forward and fully striding off the ship. His boots crunched against the moist, dead leaves that were scattered on the ground.

He took a deep breath in, the sound becoming static through his helmet, letting the sweet air swell in his lungs and fill it with peace. With a harsh exhale, he expelled all feelings of worry and began heading in the opposite direction the others went.

While he ambled, he attempted to silence his steps like the Knights had done, but it seemed like the more he tried, the brasher his bulky body would be. He eventually gave up on this, letting the expectancy of this mission drive his feet. He was vigilant to listen for anything on this planet that could cause him harm, but yet, the silence hung heavy around him. Thick and unseeing.

Rasseth used his shoulder to push a large branch out of his way, letting it slice through the air behind him, making a harsh whipping sound.

At this point, he had traveled a great distance, only being able to pick up the soundtrack of his own heavy panting in his helmet. Rasseth rested, removing his helmet from his head and clicking it attach to his holster belt. He used his forearm to wipe away the sweat that was spilling down his flushed face, the humidity of the planet causing his clothing underneath his armor to stick to his skin.

He was beginning to grow agitated at the lack of action he had seen. He took a few steps in another direction, about to turn around and head back to the ship when he broke through the tightly wound forest and landed in a small field where a tiny hut sat in the tree line.

Rasseth's eyebrows creased, his eyes narrowing abruptly. He gradually reached behind him, casing his hands around the handle of his glowing war hammer and bringing it in front of him in a defensive stance, the metal clanking against his armor. He walked in careful steps towards it, his mind running through the possibilities of what could be inside when the door swung open and he raised his weapon.

"You should learn how to silence your thoughts. I could hear you for miles away." A thick accented, feminine voice instructed and the owner of it stepped into the setting, mid-day light.

She was _beautiful_. Her looks enchanted him almost immediately, taking hold of his thoughts and holding them hostage. His weapon weakened in his hands, his goal of the day becoming indistinct and disoriented in comparison to her beauty. Her green eyes were ablaze with wrath, them sliding from his weapon, to his bare face, to the black armor he wore. Her beige clothing was loose around her slight frame and her hand twitched, slowly going towards the lightsaber that was attached to her belt.

Rasseth knew that he should strike her before she got the upper hand, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. If anything, the weapon in his hand slid down slightly and he relaxed his arms, letting the top of his war hammer rest against the ground.

The woman pulled out her saber and blue light sprung out, the sound of its energy louder than he had ever imagined. She treaded down from the hut, her bare feet padding against the light dirt. Her short dark hair blew around her face and her mouth were in a thin line of thought.

"You're a Knight." She alleged and he opened his mouth correct her, but only a choking noise came out. "I always thought you were a myth." She began to grind her teeth together and Rasseth could almost see the thoughts as they passed through her mind. Rasseth felt a hand squeeze at his heart, at the sound of her voice. He licked his dry lips. "Have you come to kill me, then?"

_Yes_. Rasseth thought. Yes I have. The man tried to force his body forward, to swing at her with his hefty weapon, to be bathe himself in her blood. However, there was something about her, her body being submerged in light. He could practically taste the static that was emitting between the two and defeated, he let his war hammer clatter to the ground, his hands trembling. Finally, he said, "No."

* * *

_A/N: I'm a bish and completely changed my mind about my Star Wars fic. I'm sorry for those that enjoyed the first chapter of AINETH. Luckily, I am already editing the first ? 4 chapters of this story, so updates should be pretty fast!_

_This one is going to be completely different, but still have some aspects of AINETH, in case you recognize them in future chapters. It will take us a while before we reach the the Force Awakens and this story will most likely veer off into something completely different cause who doesn't like an AU. The next few chapters are going to set the start of my protagonist's life, so I hope you enjoy it!_

_also i know like nothing about the knights of ren, so all of this is completely made up in my mind to the best of my ability. sorry if it's horrendous._

_also ignore the other story i posted. i can't edit or delete it since it got rid of my title when i published it. oops._


	2. foolish

**| CHAPTER TWO —**  
** FOOLISH |**

**FOR NEARLY THREE YEARS, **Rasseth was able to keep her a secret from the other Knights.

Ivykar Tiepro was her name, just thinking her name had his heart pounding with a severity that he wasn't accustomed to. It didn't take long for the man to fall for those green eyes and love soon followed, strong and powerful, growing more prevailing with each passing moment. She was stunning, not just in appearance, but with each movement she made, was fluid and graceful and within her head was the most captivating mind he had ever met.

Every day, Rasseth would think about how much he relished spending his time with her. Even though they never left that hut, for the safety of Ivykar, they would sit there and just get to know each other.

At this point, the man considered himself an expert on all things Ivykar. When she was just a young girl, her parents had been killed by scavengers that shot down their ship and ripped it apart, looking for scraps. Ivykar had just barely escaped from their grasps and ran off to where she could find her extended family. It was then that she began to feel the Force, bending and willing to her and she realized that within every living thing, she could see the Force and it was only growing stronger within her. Once she knew what this entailed, she ran off to the Resistance where she knew that there were fellow Jedi's that could help had accepted her into their ranks and she had trained with Jedi masers throughout her time, even meeting Luke Skywalker and doing a stint of traveling with the world known smuggler, Han Solo. She told these stories to Rasseth with such passion, with a spark in those eyes that the man couldn't look away in the middle of his tale, as he was engrossed with the way she spoke.

_Rasseth Argent was utterly and irretrievably spellbound by Ivykar Tiepro._

Each of their secret meetings would end with Ivykar begging Rasseth to leave the Knights of Ren, to join the Resistance with her, but he had always declined. He would wrap his large arms around her petite frame and promise that everything was going to be alright, as long as they were vigilant with their choices.

While he couldn't deny the love they shared, he knew what he had signed himself up for when he had sought out and joined the merciless faction. Even if he had decided to leave them, he knew they would never let him live. He had seen more powerful men try to leave the Knights of Ren and end in such a ruthless fate that Rasseth needed to ensure his own self-preservation. They would travel the galaxy and search for him until his demise, something that he was praying to avoid.

Despite how wary they were, he would still have to consider the fate of his love. If Rasseth reminded in the Knights of Ren, but they found out about Ivykar, they would sooner let him go than take pity on a Jedi. If the knowledge of her existence ever came to light, they would kill her on sight with no hesitation and he made it his life's mission to ensure that they were never the wiser.

He had taken the extra precaution of turning off the tracker on his personal ship before he headed to her planet and he would only stay for a couple days, telling Ren that he had personal business to attend to. Each visit had to be separated by long weeks, possibly even months to make sure that the suspicion was never provoked.

This was especially hard for Rasseth as each time he visited her, the light within him would only grow more inside him and he wanted to turn back, go to her and run away together, but at the end of the day, he would just climb on board of his shpi and take off, observing as she grew smaller and smaller in his window.

Rasseth was gnawing on the inside of his cheek, a bad habit that he had picked up during his time with the Knights. Usually, it was hidden by his helmet, as it was a sign of his own weakness. The way he let his thoughts consume him and drown in his worry.

He shook his head, halting his inner monologue that he had found himself in. He neatly placed a stone statue in his knapsack, a gift that he had gotten for Ivykar on his latest mission and zipped up his bag, his body shivering in excitement. He had just been granted permission to leave the ship once more and the time from between the last time he saw Ivykar was almost a year. This was the longest they had spent apart and it was driving him insane not being able to see her. He was practically trembling at the prospect of seeing that wide smile that filled him up with warmth.

He slung the bag over his shoulder and pressed a palm against the entrance to his small quarters, it opening with a swoosh and he stepped out into the narrow hallway, letting the door slide shut behind him. He sucked in a deep breath, sliding his helmet back over his head. Once it was snug, it let out a low hiss, capturing his head. Rasseth squared his shoulders, making sure that his emotions were behind that wall he built and began to saunter towards where the Knights kept their personal ships.

He had to refrain from skipping, that's how happy he was.

Behind that wall, he thought about all the stories he was going to tell Ivykar, of all the planets he was exploded, keeping all the gruesome details at bay, and he would tell her how he longed to bring her to these planets, to show her what he saw, in spite of how far gone that dream was.

He was reaching to press the button that would open the airlock between him and his ship when a dark sleuth stepped into his vision and waited. Rasseth hesitated, his heart picking up slightly, his gloved fingers teetering over the tip.

"Going somewhere?" It was Brindel and he pursed closer to where Rasseth was standing. His more imposing frame stood over Rasseth and even behind the mask, Rasseth had to swallow the fear he had of him, his skin crawling at his cool words.

He opened his mouth and responded, "Ren gave me some time off." His voice only cracked slightly and his face reddened.

Brindel calculated him for a minute, letting the time pass them slowly, it was excruciating. There was an emotion wavering off of the Knight that Rasseth was unsure of, but it suffocated him in expectation of what he could want. Brindel's arms were crossed over in front of him, but his hands were clenched. "It's time."

Rasseth sucked in a breath, looking away. It only took a minute to realize the severity of his words. _It's time._

The Knight motioned for Rasseth to follow him and he did, blindly and without another question. The sounds of their boots echoed throughout the ship, loud and with purpose. Rasseth continued to gnaw on the inside of his mouth, causing the flesh to tear between his canine and blood filled his mouth. His eyes watered from the pain, but he couldn't help himself.

Rasseth began to wonder where the other Knights were when they hadn't passed one for a while when the door to the control room opened and revealed all of them waiting for him patiently, standing in the back of the room. The only one that was in the middle of the room was Ren, his arms loose at his side. His sloped sliver mask was facing Rasseth, but the man could tell that he wasn't looking at him, only at Brindel.

At this sight, Rasseth let the bag slip off of his shoulder and land on the ground with a muted thud. It was time, he thought again. He was going to become a Knight of Ren and all thoughts of Ivykar had all, but disappeared from his mind.

Brindel joined his fellow warriors once he entered, standing in between two of them, his feet spread apart. Rassseth took a careful step forward and the door shut behind him. He swallowed the worry that was creeping up his throat, the words that were said when he first found them, _the price is steep. What is it that they have in store for him?_

It didn't matter, Rasseth scolded himself internally. Rasseth was self-assured in his ability to accomplish anything they threw at him without a doubt in his mind, nary a second thought of reluctance or guilt He would be brutal and crafty, be the Knight that he knew he could be and he would ensure that it would be finalized, it would be such a gory tale that he could almost hear himself telling recruits about them, them flinching at his words, about how -.

Ren walked towards him, swinging his weapon in his hand, causing Rasseth's thoughts to come to a screeching thought. THe leader approached him, his head cocking to the side and he pointed the tip of his dagger towards the shaking man.

"You weren't as careful as you may have wished you were." Ren was saying, his voice thick with anger. "We know about Ivykar Tiepro, the Jedi. To join the Knights you must kill her, rid yourself of the last piece of light that is in you or perish from your foolishness."


	3. lost

** LOST| **

**THE WORLD AROUND RASSETH **rolled, ferocious and livid.

His vision became cloudy and he had to resist the urge to rip off his helmet and hurl it at the Knights that were scrutinizing him keenly. His stomach was churning and it threatened to spill over. He walked to the side of the room, forgetting that he was supposed to be calm, collected and placed a quivering hand on the table in front of him, gawking at the wall in front of him. He struggled to take in a breath, to center him, but it only made his vision dip and dive. He placed both hands on the table

A tsunami of trepidation was washing over him, bathing him with dread and filling him with not only fear, but wrath as well. He could only hear a loud roaring in his ears that took away his sense and he knew that Ren was continuing his spiel, however he couldn't focus on his words.

Kill Ivykar.

Those two words rebounded around in his head, boooming into anything it came in contact with, leaving his mind a muddled felt resent towards the Knights for putting such a problematic choice in front of him, but he was also fuming with the woman he had fallen in love with. If she had not been on that planet that day, if she had stayed with her family, she would be okay and he would be able to endure his purpose without losing such a large piece of himself.

Rasseth drug himself away from the table, abstaining from the impulse to send a fist into the wall and he twisted in the other direction, beginning to march back and forth in front of the Knights, misplaced in his feelings. He was grinding his teeth now, his heart being wrenched back and forth in his chest. He knew that they were waiting for the decision that they were hungry for, but he couldn't find the words.

One of the Knights that was on the opposing side unsheathed their glowing weapon, patience running then, ready to land the ending blow on the still-contemplating Rasseth. Ren raised a hand to halt him and the Knight paused, arm still poised. Ren deliberately loomed over to the other man who peeped up at him, his true sentiments camouflaged, but it was almost like the Force-sensitive leader could sense it.

"Rasseth _Ren_." He spoke with such authority that it broke through to Rasseth who was pulled out of his tumultuous spiral. Rasseth stopped his pacing, facing him fully, mystified at how his new name sounded. Rasseth was a lot of things, but selfish was at the top of the list and it began to consume the young man and caused his famine to keep Ivykar safe to halt, even if it was just for that fleeting moment. "What is it that you desire?"

That was a weighted question. Rasseth mulled over the answer before he responded. There was a part of him that longed to just escape with his love, find a nice planet where they would be their true selves, never having to worry about the politics of the war or the rules of the Jedi or Knight. Where they could truly misplace themselves with each other and die old next to each other.

"To join the Knights of Ren." His mouth moved without him prompting it. At the sound of his voice, his stomach dropped. Warmth spread across his cheek at the realization of what he had said.

Ren gave him a curt nod, clasping a hand on the man's shoulder and the two helmets met at each other's forehead. There was a sense of ease that came from the leader that pacified Rasseth's anxiety. "Then you know what needs to be done."

* * *

**RASSETH SLAMMED THE SIDE **of his fist against the wall of his ship and let out a grunt from the pain that blossomed. Alone, hurtling towards the planet that once filled him with pleasure, trepidation began to settle in his mind like snow falling from the sky. He attempted to push the thoughts away and got to his feet, stomping towards the back of the ship. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning at the emptiness that surrounded him. Since leaving the Knights, he had done his best to keep his thoughts as chaotic as possible, to avoid focusing on one thing, but the thing about being alone was it brought all your demons to the forefront of your mind.

He ground his teeth together. He refused to think about what his mission was, as the details tended to distract him from his end goal. He was going to be a Knight; he shouldn't have been so sensitive ... so emotional.

_**Damn it.** _Here he was, traveling from worlds away, to mercilessly murder his one true love. _**Stop it.** _He didn't know how he was going to be able to do this without losing a large part of himself. **_You'll do it without hesitation. _**Ivykar had shown Rasseth so much love since the time they had met and he couldn't imagine a world without her. _I**t will be filled with power.** _It would be miserable and lifeless without the light she shredded through the dark.

His mind meandered on with all the possibilities. The Knights knew who she was, where she lived, probably knew as much about her as he did. But if he was swift, they could both take off and run away together.. It was possible. Maybe even the Resitance could help hide them. He knew that they would support Ivykar in every way possible and if he kept his past hidden, perhaps even him too.

**STOP THAT.** The dark voice in his head snapped at him and the thought fluttered away like a fearful butterfly.

Rasseth returned to the pilot's seat when the planet came into view. He strapped himself back down into the seat, taking control of the ship and flipping a switch that was above his head. The ship began to descend on the green planet and he focused his eyes on the trunks of those trees as they got denser. It shuddered when it landed before dispelling, the engine rotating to a stop.

_**Don't think. Just do it. **_Rasseth was quick to get to his feet, opening the hatch and the entrance unbolted, letting the sweet oxygen sweep in. There was a moment where his legs refused to move, heavy with grief. He stared at the landscape, committing it to memory, this being the last time he would ever visit it. He was careful to shield his mind, something that Ivykar had taught him in cause the Knights had someone explore his mind and he knew that she would be able to reach in easily if he let her and see his true motive for returning.

Rasseth reached for his war hammer, then stopped. He walked past it and picked up the dagger that Ren had given him, testing the slight weight in his hand with a grimance and then began walking towards the hut where his love was waiting for him.

_**Rasseth Argent's love, not Rasseth Ren. **_

The door swung open before he had reached it and he froze, this reminding him of a time not so long ago. Ivykar appeared in the doorway, her face flushed and cheeks spread from her grin. Her hair had grown so much longer since the last time he had seen her and her face was rounder. She was filled with such elation and began walking to her lover, unhurriedly picking up speed and she launched her body against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting out a breathless laugh that had him coughing form the feelings that crawled it's way up his throat.

"Oh, Rasseth, I have the best news!"

The light encased him. It was sincere and reminded him of a new day. He could feel the darkness in his mind slowly receding, a wave pulling back form the beach, leaving only faultless, new sand. He couldn't handle holding her like this, love filling up every piece of his body, making him feel weightless. Rasseth knew in this moment, he wasn't going to be able to kill her. She was his forever and they would find a way...

Rasseth grunted and Ivykar's face fell.

She stumbled back from him, her quaking hands dropping and landing on her stomach where a familiar dagger had impaled her fresh. An unintentional moan escaped Rasseth's lips, looking down at his own hands that were covered in her blood. _**Good job. **_A dark voice in his head congratulated him. Blood was spreading around the wound, staining the cream tunic that she was wearing. Her hands enclosed around the hilt of the dagger, her eyebrows furrowing in misunderstanding, her knees buckling from under her weight.

Rasseth caught her, pressing her against his body as he gently laid her down on the soft ground. He held her to his chest, feeling her muscles tense up in agony from the swift motion. Tears were spilling down his redden face and he pressed her face against his chest, running her hand through her hair. She looked so baffled and he felt the soft tingles in his mind of her trying to enter wordlessly, struggling to find answers to the questions she didn't have the strength to ask.

He stared forward, inhaling sharply and let the walls he had built in his mind crumble. His eyes widened in pain while she went through his head, flipping through all of her memories. Of what happened previously that lead him here, how he had intentionally let the dagger pierce her body. It was over almost as fast as it had started and Ivykar's mouth was agape with the knowledge she had attained. She weakly tried to move away from the man she realized she did not know.

Rasseth was pleading, "I'm sorry." His grip tightened, refusing to let her go. "I wasn't going to do it. You know that, you saw that in my head. The darkness, oh god, I'm so sorry Ivy, I love you."

Like dimming a light, the illumination that once exploded in her irises were beginning to darken. Torment was attacking the man's body while he sobbed, Ivykar still trying to remove herself from him. Eventually, she had grown too weak for even that mediocre task. She was gazing up at the blue sky, removing the hand from trying to stop the bleeding to press a hand against his cheek. He stared at her, eyes unfocused and the she whispered, with such malevolence and venom that it left Rasseth reeling, "Don't touch her." And then, just like that, the love of his life faded out.

He continued to hold her, openly crying, more time passing by. He clenched his fists in her tunic, begging for her to return back. Uncaring of who saw him, he screamed out and cursed at everything that had brought him to this moment. The light that once wobbled around him disseminated and left him entirely, leaving a gaping hole in his chest.

A ship above him was beginning to approach, the loud roaring sound of it causing his moist face to peer up at it. He recognized immediately that it belonged to the Knights of Ren. The sun was beginning to set, to start the end of the day and he gently laid Ivykar on the ground, sucking in a breath and got to his feet. He took one last look at her, getting ready to head back to his ship when he heard it.

The cry of a baby.


End file.
